Sheila Steplar Blog

We get so wounded. We take things oh so personally and then we make assumptions for dessert. At the time, at the moment of impact, when the arrow shoots into our hearts, it feels like there is no other choice.

I remember once when I was teaching a class. A very prominent and eager student sat in the very front row. As I began going through the days lesson plan, she took out the worlds tiniest notebook. It was a much smaller version than the one Reese Witherspoon's character in Legally Blonde took out of her purse in her first class at Harvard Law School, but it was equally whimsical in nature. I couldn't help noticing how small the notebook was. It actually affected my train of thought and concentration. I thought to myself, "Is the information I am presenting that unimportant? If it is...why bother?"

The class was 50 minutes long. I spent hours preparing for the class. I kept my eye on her the whole time. She sat on the edge of her seat. Was she engaged or ready to go? She didn't take a single note. As soon as class finished she departed at the speed of light. Yet the arrow in my heart stayed put for a long time. Thoughts of that tiny empty notebook haunted me and my confidence. I wondered, did I do my best? Was my best not good enough? Why should I bother teaching at all? At the time, as long as the arrow stayed stuck, I saw nothing but doubt, crushed confidence, and maybe a future as a truck driver.

Now, anybody who knows me, knows I have been been on a spiritual journey. It has been a journey to joy, a journey to peace and love and self-love. I have moved into more freedom and bliss yet some arrows prick the darkness of doubt and disbelief. The doubt clouds my path, chases the stillness of light and truth.

Then one day an old word beckons me with the dawn of a new day: Ease. Ease never feels easy for those who strive and strain, yet Ease feels so good. It soothes my heart and mind and soul. And finally on the dawn of this new day, Ease seeped into the wound of the arrow. For the first time I could look upon that moment, that notebook with lightness, with a smile and yes, with Ease. The darkness of the wound, of taking things personally and making assumptions, clouded my mind from seeing from another vantage point, a better vantage point. But thankfully Ease found its way to me, lighting up my day, lightening my mood and illuminating my past with the light of present Ease. Where there was doubt, now there is humorous Ease as I remember the comically small notebook so full of emptiness, yet now full of Ease.

Where in your life can Ease heal a wound, illuminate the darkness of doubt or free you from taking something personally or making assumptions? Ease, it healed my wound, my perception, my memory. Will it heal yours? Sheila Steplar 1/9/12

Change isn't meant to be hard. We have made it hard. Our whole life is a process of becoming. When you make a recipe, a drink or a smoothie and it isn't quite right, do you moan and groan about how hard it is too add more salt or not as much salt next time? NO. Every moment we are literally shifting to be more comfortable. Do we hesitate to get more comfortable in a chair? No! How many people buy a new car and never adjust the seat? We are like mad scientists when we get behind the steering wheel of a new car. We become mad multi-taskers. One hand is moving the seat position, another hand adjusts the mirror, and the stereo is set to please you and the steering wheel position is at your command. Yet, with our thoughts we have decided change is so hard!

We have to go to therapy, we have to dredge up our whole lives, we have to cry, and writhe in agony to change a thought. But do we? Our have we decided just a certain category of thoughts are impossible to change? Have you ever thought you were going to run 6 errands and you only ran 5? Did you have a meltdown? No. You made a change because the reward of getting home a bit sooner was more appealing than running one more errand. At some point a collective decision was made to bugle throughout all of consciousness that change is hard. It is hard to quit smoking. How many of you know someone who quit cold-turkey and never looked back!?

I spent decades believing I was unlovable until one day I decided on a different belief: I am loved and adored. Have you ever reached a point where you decided to make a wholesale change in an area of your life?

One day Catherine and I got tired of room after room of white walls even though we thought we'd never do a home improvement project ever again after we sold the Inn. Then suddenly we found ourselves painting one room after another after another. The low hum of the white walls eventually propelled us to something that felt better: a house of happiful colors.

We are meant to shift each moment into something better. We are wired to create, we are wired to feel good. We are wired to look for beauty. We are wired to make our favorite foods just right...even if we are ordering at Subway. That is a perfect example of tweaking our favorite sandwich. We can see all the choices. And eventually we may order it the exact same way for a long time. The same with Starbucks. How many have perfected their Starbucks order!?

Why can't we choose to belief that perfecting our emotions is no different? Last night while lying in bed, I noticed a low hum flow across my consciousness. Immediately I was aware of choices. I could entertain the low Hum, nourish it, bemoan it, judge it and me or I could choose from a huge menu of better feelings. I chose a Higher Hum and fell into a deep peaceful sleep.

When you get into a disagreement, you can decide, I am tired of the same old outcome to a disagreement. I will smile at ego and peacefully resolve this situation. Smiling at ego is a secret Power. You can even wink at it ;) Suddenly you see the illusion behind ego when you wink at it. You see how laughable it was when it was decided change is hard. It is no harder than adding a splash of hazelnut or extra salt.

When you sense anxiety or worry, you can say No, I am tired of you. I don't like that recipe any longer. I will add more sugar to my life and make it sweeter. I am tired of that heavy sauce. I want a light sauce now, a fruity wine instead of a Cabernet.

Set Intentions to dwell in the ease of what exists already instead of trying to fill the gap of a perceived lack. All that Is, already is. Now you have to connect to the energy of it. Now is the time to ask for wisdom and Inspired Action to release blocks and limiting beliefs that keep you from connecting to all that already is.

Half of the time we are afraid to let go of the same ole, same ole because we fear it will get worse. I don't see how it can get worse if you consciously are choosing what raises you Hum. If each moment you are choosing to more joy, more beauty, more ease, more peace, more love, how can you create something worse than ruts, old habits and patterns? You can only be stuck if you don't choose Presence. Once you get into the Power of the Present Moment and ask: What will raise my Hum right now, you become a conscious creator. You are no longer stuck, no longer a victim, and no longer powerless. Now you are flowing in Universal Energy, you are a creator and you are powerful. We shift naturally every moment, why decide a certain area is hard? If you decide it is hard, guess what? It is hard. If you decide change is easy and natural, it becomes so. Be the Creator you are meant to be! Blessings of Love, Joy, Peace and Light, Sheila Steplar 9/12/11

Today is my birthday and I am starting a new Love Page journal. I love, love, love my Love Pages. For this next season in my life I am going to focus on gentleness. As many of you know I love the book Animal Speak. I was recently on a little road trip and a waxwing bird visited me. For me the message of the waxwing was Gentleness. I have also been told since that Deer represents Gentleness as well. This means I have been given a double message for Gentleness. Gentle can mean kind and tender, not harsh or severe. But it came from Gentile, meaning highborn, noble, of the same clan, or nobly born. Wow. That is a lot of information.

Do you view yourself with Gentleness, kindness and tenderness? Apparently I need some help with this. But it feels so good when I take a moment and allow Gentleness to fill my mind, body and soul. It feels so good when I bathe my past in Gentleness and see my future only through eyes of Gentleness. It feels good to feel good!

Do you spend too much time trying too hard, striving, competing, and comparing, that you don't even recognize how wonderful Gentleness feels? How often do you think of looking upon another with Gentleness? Do you look upon work, co-workers, situations and events with Gentleness? I know how easy it is to have my head filled with judgments and opinions. I also know how much better it feels to release judgment and opinions and choose Love and now Gentleness.

I love animals, birds, insects and reptiles and have frequent and wonderful encounters with all kinds of creatures great and small. But recently I got a negative message about these very same creatures. It has weighed heavily upon me. He, in a very frustrated and harsh manner said I am not allowing in Gentleness. I wondered immediately if the message was for him.

It is funny how people express concern. I remember getting shouted at when I got hurt playing sports. Once and for all I can choose to place a layer of Gentleness over the frustrated man, over me, over you. I can set the intention to let Gentleness filter my eyesight, my words, my hearing, my thoughts. Today and for the next season of my life, I can choose Gentleness. I choose again to see all creatures great and small with eyes of Gentleness.

The origin of the word Gentleness also has to do with being of the same clan. This reminds me of the Truth of our Oneness. It is so easy to fall into the routine of me against them, us against them. Do you ever hesitate about buying anything from China? That is a subtle us against them thought pattern. Do you ever hesitate to help another human as if you helping them will actually diminish yourself in some way?

The Truth is we really are One. There is Universal Love, Joy and Peace. There is Universal Wisdom that we all get to tap into. If, in Gentleness, I recognize I am One with you, there is peace, not competition. If I know nothing is diminished by giving, I feel expansive. To withhold simply doesn't feel good.

Will you join me in choosing Gentleness for this next season in your life? I hope so! All love and joy, Sheila Steplar 7/27/11

I was pretty much in a funk this morning. An obsessive thinking kind of funk. My mind was mired in low vibration thinking. I was even journaling about being in a funk. A relatively low vibration thought crossed my mind and the thought amused me so I found myself smiling. The smile was enough to break my funk, break the pattern of compulsive thinking and basically completely shift my mood.

I have taught for years that the simplest most powerful JoyStream exercise is to turn up the corners of your mouth. And it was such a happy surprise to find another positive outcome. The best part is, now that I know I have a tool for getting out of funks, I am that much more powerful. Sound too simplistic? If simple works, why make it complex? Smiling is Powerful. Even right in this moment, post-funk, I am already feeling better, but if I turn up the corners of my mouth, I feel even better. What is the message? If we pay attention to how we feel, we can make better, more conscious choices to raise our vibration, to elevate our mood, to consciously create our tomorrow.

I have heard people say, "Well, I can't control how I feel." Of course you can. Jill Bolte Taylor, a brain scientist who suffered a stroke, wrote in "My Stroke of Insight," that it takes our bodies about 90 seconds to process an emotion, then it is up to us how we react after the 90 seconds. I have found that it doesn't even take 90 seconds.

I had a flash of anger yesterday that actually kind of frightened me. I took a few moments and asked for wisdom. I wrote for a few moments and traced the anger to a very young age. Then I asked for more wisdom to create an exercise for me to release the anger, basically recreating that moment. The exercise was simple, powerful and effective. (If you want more info on the exercise email me Sheila@TheJoyStream.com or message me on FB.) The source of the anger was surprising and completely took me off guard. The anger was deeply and firmly rooted around surprisingly fresh feeling wounds. Yet with Awareness and Wisdom, the Power of the Present Moment and enough self-love to process the flash of anger, I was able to make a conscious choice to feel better.

So whether you are in a momentary funk, a long standing funk, depressed, bummed out, grieving, overwhelmed, stressed, worried, angry or fearful, you have so much power to make a choice that serves you better right in this moment. Do you desire to consciously create a better life? The choice really is yours, right in this powerful, present moment. To your joy, Sheila Steplar 6/29/11

So much of The JoyStream is about finding relief, choosing relief. We have the choice and power to choose a feeling that feels a bit better than our habitual feelings, thoughts or patterns. When we notice that something doesn't feel good, maybe an action, thought or feeling is lowering your Hum, take a moment and ask Wisdom for an action, thought or feeling that serves you better, feels better, provides relief. This simple act of being present with how you feel unleashes great power. In Presence, in the now, we are if but for a moment free of worry and stress. The past and future fade while we are in Presence.

We may notice that in a moment when we are judging ourself or another that judgment doesn't feel so good. As we ask for a better choice than judgment let me introduce you to the choice of neutrality. Neutrality is not a sexy choice, but we are looking for relief. As a side note, each time we choose relief, each time we choose to feel better it becomes accumulative. If we live on a scale of 1-1000 and judgment is 50 yet concern is over 200, that is a huge leap in relief. As we choose to create a pattern of relief, soon we will be choosing from a higher place on the scale...a higher rung on the ladder. Soon, we are used to feeling better and as we choose a feeling of relief from the higher rung, soon we are choosing from the 300 range, when we started at 50.

Back to neutrality. Neutrality is a choice much higher than judgment on the ladder. Say it is about 250. Bring to mind any situation that annoys you, frightens you, worries you, or stresses you out. Bring the word neutrality into your mind, turn up the corners of your mouth, take a long slow deep breath of neutrality~pure blissful neutrality. The situation is no longer good or bad. Your body is no longer good or bad. Your job is no longer good or bad. Your relationships are no longer good or bad. Your mind chatter quiets. You are simply neutral. Feels pretty good doesn't it!?

For me, the stress and tension almost immediately drain from my body. If the chatter returns, I simply bring neutrality back to mind and the stress and tension once again drain.

There are so many benefits of the awareness of neutrality. There is one person in my life who's appearance almost offends my eyes. I always felt terrible seeing another human in this way. Now I have a simple tool to use: I can simply choose neutrality when this person comes to mind.

The awareness of labels such as good and bad is important. Everything in our lives in clothed in labels. Expensive and Cheap. Fat and skinny. Rich and poor. Healthy and sick. Tall and short. Labeling is part of duality. In my heart of hearts I wonder if eating from the proverbial tree of good and evil is when we allow duality into our lives. Duality leads to comparing and competing. I think there is a better more joyful way. I think the simple concept of neutrality leads to a blissful sense of freedom from constant labeling.

Whenever a comparing or competing situation full of labels comes to mind, take a moment and rest in the simple miracle of neutrality. Enjoy another moment of freedom from the constant chatter in the brain. Notice how you feel awash in neutrality instead of judgment. Notice how good relief feels. We always have a choice to feel better, see better, hear better, think better, remember better, act better. Who knew neutrality could feel so good. Who knew we had so many choices. Can you imagine how good we will feel when we allow Love to guide how we feel, see, hear, think, remember and act? For now, play around with neutrality. It is a very powerful tool. It is the miracle of neutrality. All joy, Sheila Steplar 5/28/11

Whenever we look to the left and compare and look to the right and compete it sends a message to the Universe that we are lacking, disconnected and out of tune with the natural harmony of the Universe. In reality, I believe the truth is simple. If we look to the left and see someone is thriving in a way we are not, we can choose a better lens to look through. If another person is thriving, it is meant to point the way to possibilities for everyone. If it is possible for one person, it is possible for everyone.

So now, when you look to the left to compare, see hope that if it is possible for her, it is possible with me. It is like having an older sibling pave the way for you. It is usually easier for each younger sibling to gain permission once an older sibling fought for more freedom.

If you'd like you can google the Hundredth Monkey theory. Basically it is like if 100 older siblings gain permission then it almost becomes Universally permissible. If one monkey learns a new way to crack open a food source, once the 100th monkey learns how to do it, all Monkeys, even Monkeys on other islands or continents have access to the Universal information on how to do it.

Viewing another person who is thriving can feel expansive with hope to you instead of feeling contractive like scarcity or pity feel. Our feelings really are a great compass for us. If a habitual feeling lowers our Hum, at any moment we can make a choice that serves us better. Comparing doesn't vibrate at a high level. Neither does competing. They are both based on a system of scarcity and limits. Yet all you need to do is take a look out the window and know the natural order is abundance. Rarely do you see one single wild flower. They simply grow wild!

In every situation there are multiple lenses through which we can choose to view the situation. If you struggle with this, ask your Higher Power for assistance. We are never alone. There is so much guidance for us. There is so much love for us. You can even allow Love to be your Guide. In any moment you can ask: is there a more loving way to view this person? Is there a more loving way to view myself? Is there a more loving way to view this situation? Love is a powerful Guide.

Now when you look to the left to compare, you can turn up the corners of your mouth and know they are simply helping to pave your path to success. The path is for everyone, unless you make the choice it isn't for you. All you need to do is spend a second feeling that way and know you can make a better choice. Our journey here is meant to be Joyful. Joy is truly a choice. And when you look to the right to compete, know again that you can turn up the corners of your mouth and see the abundance of nature. Competing is based on scarcity and limits, yet the Truth of who you are is based on Limitless supply. Doesn't this feel better!? Sending you Love, Joy and Peace always. Sheila Steplar 5/26/11