Are You Ready to Find Freedom from Abusive Relationships...Especially with Yourself?
Probably every person on the planet has suffered in abusive relationships of some kind, even if they are with yourself. The havoc created by these relationships can be overwhelming. Yet there is a simple truth. Oneness. We are all one. But when we choose to see through eyes of separation it is easy to categorize someone as abuser and somebody else as victim. As long as we choose not to see the oneness, we get in the habit of creating separateness, which isn't really the truth of who we are.
It is very hard to find Oneness when you are overwhelmed by current abusive relationships or are in the habit of abusing yourself. As long as you are stuck in abuse, you will find it much easier to love another, to love children, lovers, pets, iPhones...ha, at the expense of loving yourself. But it is only when you start truly loving yourself, that you can find freedom from abusive relationships...including ones with yourself. To learn more about The Power of Love click here! One of the fastest ways to start learning the truth about yourself, is to start feeling better about yourself.
I always recommend doing The JoyStream Exercise to start finding out the wonderful truth of who: Loving, Kind and Compassionate; Joyful, Free and Creative; Powerful, Confident and Constructive. Choose to get in the habit of feeling better. Choose to believe the simple truth that when you turn up the corners of your mouth you have access to unlimited peace. As soon as you start feeling better and better it is simple to end the abusive relationship you have with yourself!
Even thought the truth is we are all one and yet we can't seem to love ourselves. Each time we commit an act of unlove towards ourselves, each time we disrespect ourselves, we separate ourselves from the Divine, we cut off the flow of our oneness, our blessings, and cut off the flow of the truth of who we are.
I am here to tell you, it is high time you fell in love with you. Once you truly start to learn self-love, you can choose to find freedom from abusive relationships and memories. Remember, you don't have to go it alone with relationships that are abusive. You can seek professional help and you can confide in smart, supportive friends. You are never alone. My desire is to inform you how I healed myself, and how my clients have healed with simple techniques. You have all the tools you need to create lasting success in your life and your relationships.
To create lasting success, start to acknowledge you. A first simple step towards self-love is to find out how amazing you actually are. Angela Wilson Sherrill taught me to say "hello" to my organs, which blew me away because it works. You can feel it and instantly feel more connected to yourself.
Breathe in and say Hello to your organs. Acknowledge your organs, your body, your feelings and thoughts instead of banishing them. Acknowledge the light within you and it will grow brighter. Acknowledge the love within you and it will become more expansive.
When we are in abusive relationships, the fastest way to emerge from them is self-love and self-respect. If you respect yourself, you cannot be disrespected. Sometimes it isn't easy to embark on a journey of self-love because of a preponderance of self-loathing or shame.
Shame is forgetting the truth of who you are.
I promise you that what happened or is happening to your physical body and mind in this lifetime did not and cannot touch the truth of who you are. There is no act by another person, no abusive relationship, that can destroy or ruin you or the truth of who you are. Nothing that has happened to you is true cause for self-loathing. The truth of who you are is love, light and beauty. That is a promise. You are love, light and beauty.
But it is do easy to live out a different truth. Every instance of somebody touching or harming your body is actually an act of co-creation. This may make you furious at first, but it is so important to acknowledge because it sets you on the path to freedom from being a victim. Only you can hold yourself as a victim and victims are rendered powerless.
Do you want to know your true power? Do you want to remember the truth of who you are?
Use the Power, Confident, Constructive model.
First, use the PCC model to remember the truth of who you are. Use it to make decisions. Ask yourself, how would a powerful me act? Breathe in while thinking of your true power. Then ask, what would a powerful me believe? Ask, now that I know my Power, what kinds of relationships would a Powerful me have?
Ask the same kinds of questions with Confident and Constructive. Completely revamp you by remembering and recreating the truth of who you are. Leave the false you behind.
Then physically take a step into the new powerful you. The symbolism of taking the step moves it closer to being your wonderful new reality.
I think two other things are possible with the PCC model. I think you can recreate your entire life, including your abusive relationships in your past. This is powerful. One, I think you can stop rehashing horrific memories forever, and I believe you can re-create any memory into one that propels you closer to the truth, light and love of who you are and closer to your dreams and purpose.
The way I use the PCC model with recreating memories is to ask myself some questions. For my harmful and/or hurtful experiences and memories the first step I take is to accept responsibility for my part in the co-creation of the event...even if I was a child. I know this may be hard to swallow...at first. Then it usually turns into relief by reclaiming your power. We don't give kids enough credit for their resourcefulness. It is time to give your inner child credit.
Next, I embody myself at the time of the event and ask "How would this event have turned out if I knew my full power?" Then I let my imagination kick in with me being full of power. Then I ask, "How would this event have turned out if I was fully confident?" Again, I allow my imagination to actually recreate the event with me remembering the truth of my confidence. Finally I ask, "How would this event have turned out if I was completely constructive?"
Many times going through this series of questions will completely heal the memory and have a cascading event to recreating myself. This method has set me and my clients free of horrible memories of abusive relationships. For recurring dreams, I give myself permission to become lucid during the dream and shout out loud or in my head that the dream isn't truth. This is so simple but the recurring dreams never come back.
Sometimes I realize that the memories persist and then I know I can do take two additional steps. This usually does the trick for any and all memories. The first next step is I realize I have to imagine the perpetrator as remembering the truth about him/herself. So I take the next step and imagine them remembering their Authentic Self.
I think the foundation of our Authentic Self is we are Loving, Kind and Compassionate. We are Joyful, Free and Creative and we are Powerful, Confident and Constructive. Now imagine the perpetrator remembering the truth of his/her authentic self. Imagine them knowing they are love. Imagine them knowing the truth that they are kind and compassionate. Imagine them remembering they are joyful, free and creative. And finally imagine them remembering they are powerful, confident and constructive.
The final step to take if the memories of abusive relationships persist, is I go back deeper. The funny thing is these memories that persist usually have nothing to do with anything negative happening to the physical body. The most pernicious memories usually have more to do with shame or root events that have created negative themes or patterns in my life. These memories make me realize that one of the most abusive relationships is the one we have with ourselves. One of my most negative memories created a theme of scarcity and it had to do with an Oreo cookie. And to heal my Oreo incident, I had to go back to my ancestors. Sometimes you will feel the need to reach back to the perpetrators ancestors, even if they are not related to you, it still works.
Here is what I do. Start with either set of ancestors, yours or the perpetrators. Go back as many generations until you feel a cosmic "click." You will know and feel what I mean when you do it. In your mind picture your Grandparents, then your Great Grandparents and your great great grandparents. Usually by the time you get to the great great grandparents you will sense the "click" that you have gone back far enough in time.
Once you have settled onto a generation imagine those Grandparents knowing fully the wonderful truth of who they are. They are Loving, Kind and Compassionate. Imagine how their lives look being so full of love. Take in a deep breath and imagine their compassion. Picture how wonderful their lives are being they know their Joy. Their Creativity allows them to create a life of abundance, beauty, light and truth. They are fully aware of their Power. They act with complete Confidence and are Constructive. Now imagine them having kids and what amazing parents they are. Imagine the kids growing up in such an amazing environment. (These are your Great Grandparents.) Remember, you get to create the memories that raise your Hum. Make the memories as wonderful and detailed as you desire.
Next, imagine your Great Grandparents raising your Grandparents. At this point, you may remember quite a cast of characters such as great aunts and uncles. Feel free to add them to your wonderful recreations because then you get to recreate your experiences with them, your aunts and uncles and your cousins.
Continue to add as many delicious details as you can imagine. By the time you get to your parents, you can feel all the changes, you can imagine such rich, wonderful lives and you can feel the ripples of how different you are and how different your siblings are. This exercise actually doesn't take long, it is wildly transformative, healing, freeing and leads to lasting success. You do not have to spend one more moment imprisoned by thoughts and memories that no longer serve you. You do have a better choice you can make by choosing the truth of who you are: Powerful, Confident and Constructive; Joyful, Free and Creative; Loving, Kind and Compassionate. Choose to create a new you today.
So far, I don't know of any memories or abusive relationships that cannot be transformed or cannot be recreated by remembering the truth of who you are and/or using this method. If you find one, turn up the corners of your mouth and ask for wisdom to know how to recreate it. You have access to Universal Wisdom at all times. There is great and love and support awaiting you as your journey to remember the magnificent, spectacular truth of who you are. All Love and Joy, Sheila
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