What is love? Love is tenderness and affection. It can be felt towards an object of attachment. A perfect example of this is how people feel towards their iPhone. Clearly iPhones raise the Hum of their owners. According to Merriam Webster it can also mean warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion. What else is love? It is self-love.
Love is also thriving, like a flower thrives in the sunlight. The idea of love equating with thriving raises my Hum. My whole desire in life is to see people thrive not survive.
What is Love? Thriving not surviving!
However, it isn't always easy to love. Have you ever had a person in your life that simply rubs you the wrong way? You feel quite certain that if there was only one friend left on earth you wouldn't pick that person? Or maybe you have a good friend, who brought into your circle, a person who vibrates at such a different level than you do that it is physically uncomfortable to be near each other? Or maybe you have a friend who is making questionable choices, maybe even unethical choices, and you are sick about it?
Sometimes we only know what is love, when we figure out what it isn't.
The first time I figured out what love is by knowing what it wasn't was when I learned the wisdom to err on the side of love. Let me explain a tiny bit. A really good friend of mine started having an affair with a married man. I was very conflicted about the situation. After a couple months of agonizing over it, trying to love the sinner, hate the sin kind of thing, I heard a friend of mine say they didn't like the married man because I didn't like the married man. I was stunned and floored. I needed a better solution. On that day I decided to stop being judge and jury and made the decision to err on the side of love towards the married man and my friend.
What is Love? Erring on the side of Love!
What I did that day was set myself free and came closer to knowing what love is. It is such a burden to be judge and jury. However, we are so used to being judge and jury, we don't know what freedom feels like! However, the freedom is worth it. It feels light, wonderful, delicious. Fast forward to a more recent situation. The situation is actually quite similar, except I know about The Law of Attraction now. I know that what I focus on I get.
What is Love? Freedom from Judging!
So I spent a few very uncomfortable weeks judging a man and his lady friend. I had dozens of rational reasons to dislike and judge the situation. What? Judge the situation? Do you know it took me weeks to realize I was completely judging the situation? Once I realized I was acting as judge and jury again, I knew enough to choose freedom, which I did immediately.
What is Love? Choosing Freedom!
You see, if we dislike somebody, and judge them, we tend to seek out others who are willing to prove our point. We seek out others who say, "Oh, I can't stand that person!" Or, "That person gives me the creeps." But once I realized I was judging and decided to make a better feeling decision, I instantly stopped seeking out proof. Even the people who knew how I felt, I stopped egging them on, but said, "I'm tired of being judge and jury," so the conversation would quickly end.
I can't tell you how fast I felt so much better in my own life when I stopped judging this man and woman. When we judge, we feed the situation, we feed negative emotions into our bodies, into our friends bodies, into the Universe. All our energy goes there, and we have no energy left for feeling good. We can't judge somebody else and feel good at the same time. I know enough now to want to choose better feelings or judgment. I know enough to want to use my energy for what brings me joy, not to waste it on people who don't even raise my Hum.
What is Love? Doing what raises my Hum!
This time though, the lesson to not judge went to a deeper level. When I was in the midst of asking for wisdom about these two people who consumed my energy, I saw my neighborhood deer come right by my office window. Seven deer came by one by one. First, two Mommas came by. The third Momma came into site but I instantly knew something was wrong. Her right hind leg was completely lame. It just dangled as she labored to maneuver on her three good legs. My heart sunk.
What is Love? Asking for Wisdom.
I instantly pictured a drainage ditch where a neighbor said she has seen dead deer. I pictured the Momma going to the ditch and laying down to die. But then a much smaller deer came into sight. Now, my heart sunk even more! Her baby is going to have to watch her die. And then the other small doe came out, and I realized it was the Momma with the twins who was injured.
Now I felt sick to my stomach. I even wondered, what I had done to attract this scene. It certainly didn't raise my Hum. I started to actually judge myself. Where had the balance of my thoughts been so I'd attract this scene? Then another momma deer walked by and she was clearly limping as well, though not nearly as badly as the one with the completely lame leg. I had to immediately stop focusing on the deer. I went to what I know to be true. We all attract what we focus on. Wildlife is much closer to source and know that death is not the end. They can choose a new fresh nimble body easily. I chose thoughts that raised my Hum a tiny bit.
But 36 hours later when I looked out the window, I thought about the dangling leg and pity filled my stomach. But the lesson I had just learned about the freedom of not judging, popped into my head. I instantly learned a new lesson about what love is. Pity can be a form of judgment! We judge illness, injuries, and death as bad. But in fact, there is only good and absence of good.
Bad is a form of reality that we create that isn't based on truth. All we need to do is observe ourselves think and observe how things make us feel. When I observed my feeling of pity towards the deer...I realized the deer is ok with death. Animals naturally go off alone when they know it is time for them to die. The pity is for me...it is my creation. Is that what I really want to create?
What is Love? Releasing pity!
No. I released the pity I felt for the deer. I instantly felt better. Why do we put so much value and energy in ways and places that don't serve us? How much time and energy do we waste with emotions like pity? Don't we want to spend more time knowing what love truly is? I learned all I needed to do was to observe myself thing and feel with the lame deer. Then my emotions were not given a chance to snowball, my body didn't have the option to absorb grief or pain or pity. I was set free simply by observing myself.
Where do we need to set ourselves free? In what areas are we expending too much energy? Where do you desire relief? Simply take a moment whenever you feel worried, judgmental, pity, grief, heart sick, compulsion, tempted, angry, jealous, depressed, broke, broken and observe yourself think and feel. Two thoughts cannot occupy your mind at the same time. It is simply impossible to observe yourself and judge yourself or anybody else. You cannot be both present and depressed. This is the most simple and most powerful way to create positive change.
What is Love? Observing our self think and feel.
One of the best things about observing our self think is that it creates an even keel emotion. Where as when we judge, we allow our emotions to cascade on top of each other, we allow them to build momentum. We are so used to judging, we have no sense of how good it feels when we release judgment. Here are a few questions I was led to ask:
What family members or situations am I judging?
What friends am I judging?
What co-workers am I judging?
In what areas am I judging myself?
I couldn't believe how I reacted towards myself when I saw the lame deer. I instantly went into self-judgment mode and asked how could I have attracted the maimed deer? This led to judgment on top of judgment...I judged the deer and I judged myself.
We have been judging ourselves our whole lives. What happened decades ago that we are finally willing to let go of self-judgment? In what relationships do we want to stop judging our self? With what habits or characteristics do we want freedom from judgment?
We have to choice to let go of judgment, even with our self. Resistance of any kind, whether we are resisting the goodness of the Universe or resisting self-love, leads to stress, illness and ailments. Ask for wisdom about your areas of resistance and judgment. Listen for the answers and state our loud that you are releasing judgment and resistance towards people, events and yourself. Now you can can simply observe how you think and feel, and know you can always choose a better feeling.
What is Love? Releasing Resistance!
Want to learn more about what love is? Check out your Divine Inheritance! Or pick up one of my favorite books on love.