Create Work Life Balance By Doing More of What You Love.
It's easy to go through our whole lives trying too hard, without having work life balance. Trying too hard to please somebody, trying too hard with chores, trying too hard with work, trying to hard with free time. We push our kids too hard, we push our mates too hard, we push ourselves too hard. Why? Because our society rewards those who grind it out and reach high levels of success. Often times the media makes our heroes the people who have overcome tremendous odds.
But what if there is a better more joyful way? There is. There really is hope for work life balance...keep reading. Joy is our greatest gift to give. Not our striving. Sometimes we put all our striving energy into our work,and we work so hard we get bored or sometimes we put it into an activity that we do because we have always done it!
Have you ever spend years or decades of your life passionately pursuing a sport, racing, hobby, club, association, career, vocation, avocation, as if your life depended upon it? Then one day you realized it really was no longer giving you joy, or pleasure anymore? But when you were deeply involved you thought everybody should see it how you saw it? When you gave it up you actually felt more freedom, creativity, joy and expansion? Ask yourself what things in your life no longer bring you joy.
This is the important point, what matters most is that we feel good, that we feel balanced. What matters most is joy. Do our activities bring us joy? Do they raise our
We go through life trying so hard, we frustrate ourselves and those around us. We can try so hard about something we care about, that we forget it is a labor of love, not frustration and anxiety. We get so tense from trying, we are no longer open to creativity, freedom, expansion and joy. When we try so hard, we are no longer solution oriented...we are so bogged down into the activity before us. We are tense, irritable, stressed and anxious.
Joy is completely absent. Feeling good is barely a memory. Forget about work life balance. Our current memory is lots of work, stress, tension, deadlines, tasks, to do lists, alarms, anxiety, irritability, striving, and grinding. That is what our bodies are used to feeling. We may take a short break before we resume our crazy schedules of our nose to the grindstone. Do we feel joy about what we do all day? Do we feel good?
Why do we work so hard? What for? Seriously. What for? Why do we work so hard, strive so hard, endure so much tension and anxiety? We are literally killing ourselves. We can't even believe joy is a choice, because joy is not a part of our daily grind. We certainly have no clue it is our greatest gift to give. We can hardly believe in the idea of creativity. That takes time and we don't have any, because we are working so hard, and we don't even know why. Working hard has become a habit that we probably didn't even consciously choose.
We work hard because our lives are so imbalanced, we try to compensate for that imbalance! We focus so hard on grinding it out, that we don't realize there is an easier way to work life balance. In fact, the grinding it out blocks the easier path. We can't believe in freedom. We decided a long time ago that freedom is for later or for somebody else. We can't believe in expansion. We don't even know what that is. I'm hear to tell you there is a better way. There is a way of hope, joy, creativity, freedom, expansion, love, light and peace. There is a way out of the rat race.
First we have to stop worrying so much what other people think. It just doesn't matter because we rarely know the truth of what somebody else truly thinks and feels. There may be someone in our life that always berated us, but deep down they want us to wildly succeed easily and naturally, but they never had somebody go easy on them, so they pass along what they learned, but they don't pass along truth! Maybe they were never taught there could be balance between work and life.
Stop comparing ourselves to others. The only people to emulate are those who raise your Hum. If you feel good around somebody, focus on them so you can attract more like people. However, we usually compare ourselves to crazy over-achievers who can't get out of the rat race either. Do the people we compare ourselves with actually raise our Hum?
Here are a few questions for workaholics without work life balance. These questions are meant to help you mine down to see if you are overcompensating for imbalance in your life...meaning, so many areas of your life are on hold, but you are doing one thing well, so you are going to do the best you can at that one thing even if it kills you.
- Do I constantly put stuff off that raises my Hum?
- Do I usually tell people I don't have time?
- Do you put off projects saying you don't have the money?
- Do you avoid enjoyable things saying I'm too tired?
- Do you say no to activities that raise your Hum because you have to prepare for a work event?
- Do you take time to exercise and revigorate your body?
- Do you take steps to refresh your mind...listen to music, take walks, play with pets, prepare a wonderful meal?
- Do you try to do something you enjoy every day if you can?
- Do you spend days, weeks, even months at a time grinding out certain projects?
For 18 years I heard my father say, "There is no such thing as a bad day, only a bad moment." Learning about affirmations is a wonderful skill to learn to create work life balance. A simple one is "I create work life balance easily and naturally." Jill Bolte Taylor in "Stroke of Insight" said that emotions take 90 seconds to physically work there way through our bodies. So if we get angry, it takes 90 seconds for anger to do its thing and be done with our body...unless we choose to feed it and fuel it. We have 90 seconds to make a decision (actually now that I know this 90 second rule I am aware enough to make my final decision before the 90 seconds are up) to fuel the fire or make a better more powerful, confident and constructive decision. We always have choices in how we feel.
Choose to feel better. It is your choice. Working hard in moderation feels delicious. If you work no longer feels delicious, take some time to recharge. Compensating does not feel good. This is where it is important to pay attention to how you feel AND to be honest about it. Say "yes" to one thing you love. Whether it is something physical, or time with a friend, or renewing a hobby or starting something you always wanted to. This is the feeling of expansion. Expansion feels delicious.
- Think of something you love to do. Put in as many details as you can think of. Put in the sights and sounds and smells. It may be playing an instrument, or gardening or hiking or going away for a long weekend and sitting on the beach without a care in the world. This is the wonderful feeling of expansion. It is a hopeful feeling, that gets your mind, heart and soul wide open.
- What secret idea have you always had in the back of your mind? Did you want to open your own business? Write a book? Have a band? Write music? Create a secret garden? Make a mini to-do list and take the first step.
- If you haven't lost hope, think of taking your dream vacation without having a spending limit. You can go where you want, how you want and when you want. You can do as much or as little as you want. Think of something so wonderful it raises your Hum! This is the feeling of expansion.
We are so serious about everything. Even our life purpose. But what if our life purpose is freedom, joy and creativity? That's my hunch. If we absorb these three values and act upon them, we will create a wonderful and marvelous world. Did you like the feeling of expansion? That is the same as being creative. Just because we are grown up doesn't mean we have to be so serious. Try doing the peaceful face exercise.
Because we are grown up doesn't mean we have to leave joy and creativity behind. Just the opposite is true. They are our life blood. Freedom, joy and creativity raise our Hum, and it raises the Hum of those around us. Can you imagine our world if we believed these are our core values when we are born?
Remember when you were a kid and you wanted to do something different with your life regularly? Well that truth within you didn't change. The only thing that changed are your beliefs. You made a decision a long time ago what was appropriate for an adult. Did you make the right decision?
Truth be told, we are meant to be creative and expansive. If you come up with a wonderful idea, that brings you energy, it is the truth in you, summoning you to joy, creativity and freedom. If you feed them, you will attract more like them. Don't shut down or shut out ideas. They make you flourish. Just get out of the way and allow yourself to flourish!
Tips for Creating Work Life Balance:
- Work in 50 minute segments and get up and stretch for 10 minutes, listen to a couple tunes, walk around the block. Regularly recharge your body and mind and you will be much more productive.
- Make a list of ideas you have had in your life.
- Which one raises your Hum the most right now?
- Can you work on it for 30 minutes a day?
- Crack open the door of hope a sliver.
- Can you imagine your life as free, joyful and creative?
The important thing is that you make choices based on how good they make you feel. Do more of what makes you feel good and do less of what doesn't. It is truth that you get what you focus on. Choose to feel good and work life balance will appear.
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